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10The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”
I am really bad at silence. Like, just awful at it. I grew up in a family that couldn't stand silence. Music had to be on constantly, or a movie had to be playing in the background, or someone had to be talking. For the most part, peace wasn't about being quiet as much as it was about not being in conflict.
I didn't realize this about me until my wife, Tristan, and I started dating. A few weeks in, and I had talked about pretty much everything. I mean, EVERYTHING. I shared my embarrassing stories, my funny experiences, and discussed everything that was on my mind. I was desperate. I thought she was going to be bored with me if I couldn't come up with new material. Surely there was going to be someone more interesting who would come along if I didn't come up with something soon.
Finally, as we drove back to the college one day in silence, I said, "I'm sorry I am not much of a conversationalist. I can't think of anything to talk about."
Tristan gave me a look that I have seen many times since and said five words that I didn't know I needed to hear: "It's okay to be quiet..."
It feels weird to say this now, but I was floored. I had never thought of that. I had the freedom not to say anything. Just to sit there and be quiet. This was absolutely foreign to me, and it took me a long time to grow out of the pressure I felt to constantly talk.
Sometimes, my wife and I just sit in silence in the same room and still enjoy being together, even if nothing is said at all (though I must admit that there are probably still days that I talk way too much and should focus more on being present, but I am getting there).
Why am I sharing this? Because I think it is a small example of the same struggle that many of us have with our relationship with God.
We have taken on the practice of carrying most of the conversation on our shoulders. We come with requests, questions, confessions, heavy hearts, and sometimes rehearsed lines. None of these is bad, but they are not all that there is when it comes to prayer.
Have we ever started our time of prayer by saying something similar to Samuel in the verse above?
"Speak, Lord, your servant is listening.".
If we have asked God to speak to us, to show us His will, to give us guidance, or to encourage us, have we actually created time and space to silently listen?
What if we made it a practice to do nothing but listen to God? Yes, share prayer requests, ask Him to provide for your needs, ask Him questions, but also set aside a time of prayer where we ask God to speak to us.
Tyler Staton said that he has made it a practice to spend time in silence after asking God, "If you walked into this room, what would you say to me?"
Our church was challenged to practice this when we studied Staton's book last Summer, and the results were varied.
Some people said they thought God prompted them to do something, some people didn't feel like they heard anything but just felt His presence, but the majority said that they heard and felt nothing.
If I can just go back to the beginning of my time with Tristan, those first few weeks of times of silence together were incredibly awkward for me, not because of anything Tristan did, but because I was training myself to just be present. Not to try to impress her or force conversation, but to simply be with her.
So when we try to quietly be with God, to hear Him, and to silently enjoy Him, it is okay if we don't experience earthshattering results right away. Just like in any relationship, it takes time. We might feel like our time could be better spent by praying for the lost, or asking God to provide for the poor, or going out and sharing the gospel, but our time is better spent being at God's feet listening. In fact, I think that the other areas of our lives will be fueled by our time of simply being with God.
"Be still and know..." (Psalm 46:10a)
Luke 5:16 tells us that Jesus' practice was to go by Himself to pray OFTEN. Whenever we see Him perform an incredible miracle or make an important decision, we see nearness to the Father as His foundation. Jesus' life was rooted in time with the Father. If it was important to Him, how much more should it be for us as people trying to be like Jesus?
What would it look like if our communities were impacted by people who regularly spent time being WITH God? People who rest in His peace, live from His power, and are fueled by His love.
Moses' face shone after He spent time with God.
Lions' mouths were shut as Daniel trusted in God's presence.
Giants were defeated by a young man who enjoyed God while watching His father's sheep and trusted in His power.
These people didn't spend their lives training to be used in this way; they spent time living in God's presence, which prepared them to be faithful when circumstances required it.
CS Lewis said this in Mere Christianity:
“There are no real personalities apart from God. Until you have given up your self to Him, you will not have a real self. Sameness is to be found most among the most 'natural' men, not among those who surrender to Christ. How monotonously alike all the great tyrants and conquerors have been; how gloriously different are the saints."
Saints are those who have been set apart by God (saint literally means "holy one"). Saints stand out as "gloriously different" not because of a moral code or because of wise words, but because they are holy people marked by a holy God.
May it never be that people are drawn to our churches because of our programs, music, facilities, or preaching unless these are all influenced by holy people marked by the holy God.
Talent doesn't change people. Convincing arguments cannot change hearts. Drawing in crowds doesn't always imply conversion. But a place where God is honored in the lives of those present will have a greater impact than any well-made argument or well-crafted sermon.
How can we foster a with-God pace of life? How can we encourage that in one another as a church family?
It isn't our doing that connects us to God; it is our dwelling.
What will it look like for you to be present with God and to listen to Him?
Is there a spot where you feel connected with God? Schedule time to be there with Him.
Can you wake up a bit earlier to spend a minute or two in silence with God? Set your alarm.
Before going to bed, can you go over the day with God and thank Him for the good, and ask for help in the bad? Set up a reminder in your calendar to do this.
Intentional relationships are built intentionally (crazy, right?). The depth of our relationship with God is dependent on the intentionality of our time with Him.
It doesn't have to be hours in silence. Many of us are in seasons where that kind of time isn't realistic due to work, family responsibilities, etc.
Instead, it can be grabbing moments. I recently recalled a time when I worked at a coffee shop, and the only moments I could grab when I worked the morning shift at 4:30 am were to sneak into the bathroom and ask Him to be with me in my tiredness and to let His goodness show through.
The morning shift at a coffee shop wasn't the environment for stillness, so I had to carve out space for it even if it was the cold floor of the public bathroom.
I don't know if we will ever find ourselves in seasons where we will naturally have space for silent dwelling with God. I think that as long as our enemy is still working and as long as we have opportunities for distractions, we will have to work at creating space for intentional time with God.
As leaders, this practice has to start with us. We can't expect our families, congregations, and organizations to work at this without expecting it from ourselves first.
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